Friday, January 28, 2011

FEAR


* I will add the picture only After I finish with this blog.

I honestly, do not know where this fear came from. I know ma was fearful of them (maybe that 's it? IDK).

Down South we have these things called Banana Spiders *shivers*, they are Huge (check the picture)!

1 day when I was about 6 years old, I went to our laundry room (it was attached to the house, but the only door was accessible via the patio). I opened the door (I guess I shut it too? or it closed due to wind or the dog? IDK) I stepped back into the door and turned - facing the door I see this web that spanned the entire door! With it's owner perched directly in the center *shivers*. I scream...go running inside and told ma - she proceeded to jam a towel under the living room door so it wouldn't come get us.

When I was 18, I was at my Dojo (I practice Shorinji Kempo). The Dojo was on a nice big property with woods in the back. I went walking threw the woods only to walk right into a tendril of a web, suddenly I see this thing scurry down said tendril. I step back quickly, it didn't get me, but for the remainder of that day, I would swear to you that it was perched on the back of my neck.

Another time at the Dojo - at the entrance by the driveway were 3 large Pine trees, they made up a triangle (15ft square/triangle), there was a web that connected all 3 trees. I had never seen one so big! *ugh*

I have actually broken down crying because hubs did not take my fear seriously (he still doesn't).

What is it that make spiders so terrifying? Is it the eyes? The 8 legs? The fact that some are poisonous? The fangs? The fact that some could crawl up your arm or leg and you wouldn't even feel it? Or is it that some are so big that the mere site of them have your heart doing palpitations? For me...it's all of these and then some. I see a spider on my index finger, with all 8 legs wrapped around overlapping one another. Or fangs suddenly rearing back and then striking and piercing the skin. It doesn't matter how small or how big a spider is...they are all the same to me - 8 legs, beady lil eyes, fangs - All. The. SAME.

What prompted this post? There is a big, (like I said, big or small they are all the same) black spider (Not a widow) by my living room window (it found a gap there) - I told hubs before he took off for work, but he claims he couldn't find it. So, here I sit....I see it peek it's beady lil eyes out - I know it is waiting for me to get a lil too close before it pounces.

This is my fear. I put it out there for all my readers (all 52 of you) to read.

*shivers*

1 comment:

Suki said...

I think spiders are gorgeous, yet creepy at the same time. It took me a long time to do something about my fear. I use to be the deer-in-headlights person, even if the spider was bee-lining for me. Now I do the opposite and let out a warrior scream before beating them to death with whatever implement is handy (toilet plungers are tricky to use as a weapon, btw).

Part of what I did, because I am afraid of poison, is learn more about the types of spiders and what they eat (and, of course, if they are poisonous). I mostly leave them alone if they are useful (i.e. eat other poisonous spiders or haven't any poison). But Hobos beware, I will smash until there is nothing left. :)